New Release Blitz: Why Can’t Dating Be Like Pizza? by Andy V. Roamer (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Title:  Why Can’t Dating Be Like Pizza?

Series: Pizza Chronicles, Book Five

Author: Andy V. Roamer

Publisher:  NineStar Press

Release Date: 11/08/2022

Heat Level: 2 – Fade to Black Sex

Pairing: Male/Male

Length: 52500

Genre: Contemporary, LGBTQIA+, contemporary, young adult, family-drama, high school, interracial, gay, friendship, immigrant family

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Description

RV is now a junior. It’s the most important year of high school, as his guidance counselor makes clear, pushing him to improve his grades, get more active socially, and show colleges why they should accept him over other candidates.

RV has other things on his mind though. He met Luke, who shows him a whole new world of romance, movie making, and fun, but RV’s friends and family pull him in other directions.

His old crush Bobby isn’t around much, and RV has to accept that he and Bobby are no longer an item, though he still has some feelings for him. But when Luke makes an unexpected announcement, RV learns that dating has painful downs as well as joyful ups.

Excerpt

Why Can’t Dating Be Like Pizza?
Andy V. Roamer © 2022
All Rights Reserved

Pressure

How do you keep your life moving forward when the pressure’s coming at you from all sides?

Mr. Molloy, my guidance counselor, started it this morning. We met before lunch to go over my transcript, talk about my career at Latin so far, and discuss college and the future. I was looking forward to a conversation and maybe learning something. But Molloy hardly let me say anything. He started firing questions, one after the other, like from a machine gun, as soon as I got there.

“Your grades are only part of it. What about your extracurricular activities? A job? Volunteer work? How are your relations with your teachers? Other students? Have you shown leadership? What about clubs? Organizations you belong to? Do you take an active role? Do you show initiative?”

Molloy paused to catch his breath, his fat body splayed out in his office chair. No more the friendly, backslapping, supportive guidance counselor he pretends to be in the school hallways. Today he was the serious, stern bureaucrat you better take seriously—or else. And he wasn’t finished.

“Colleges want the total person, RV. The total person. Someone who’s not only smart but is industrious, has community spirit, thinks outside the box, steps up to the plate, works well with others, shows he can lead others when necessary, and is willing to help out and solve problems instead of just complaining about them. Are you that person, RV? Are you?”

I swallowed hard. This wasn’t what I expected for my first interview to go over everything for junior year. Every time I’ve seen Molloy before, he was always cracking jokes and slapping upperclassmen on the shoulder like he was their best friend. But today his fat face was scrunched up into a scowl as he turned back to the computer to look at my transcript again.

He started shaking his head. “RV, you’re going to have to step it up a notch. Maybe two or three. Your grades aren’t bad, but what are you going to do to show colleges you stand out?” He whirled around in his chair again. “How are you going to show that you are the man they want? That you will be a credit to their college? That you deserve acceptance over all those other smart applicants?” And with each you he pointed his big fat finger at me.

“Um…well, I’m taking a couple of AP and honors classes and—”

“That’s fine. But do you know how many students are taking AP and honors classes?” He shook his head. “I told you. If you want to get into a good school, you. Have. To. Stand. Out.” The fat finger was jabbing at me with every word. I felt like I was in a courtroom, not in a guidance counselor’s office. A guidance counselor who was supposed to help my career, not treat me like a criminal.

Finally, after a little more jabbing, Molloy relaxed a little. He even cracked a smile. “But you’re a good guy,” he said. “I can see you are. You’ll figure it out. Don’t rest on your laurels. Move on, RV.”

He sat up a little straighter in his chair and leaned in closer. I moved back. Molloy has a weird sweaty smell, a cross between salami and cigars. Gets pretty strong if you get too close. The cologne he always uses to cover up the smell doesn’t help.

I pulled back even more, afraid he’d want to slap me on the back or something. But the smile was gone again. “The next time we meet, RV,” he said, “I want to see a detailed plan of your junior year. Clubs, work, interests, social initiatives, leadership capabilities, the stuff that shows the fire that is the real RV. Remember, this is the most important year of your career at Latin School. Make it or break it time.”

The finger was back, jabbing at me. “And. You. Want. To. Show. Them. The. Fire.” He paused, then added. “The fire is there, isn’t it?”

I nodded, which I guess wasn’t convincing enough.

“Isn’t it?” he repeated, much more loudly.

“Yes, sir!”

He turned back to the computer, signaling the meeting was over.

Oh, man. I walked out of his office, wanting to go hide someplace. What do I have to show colleges besides questions and insecurities? Fire? Where? How? What am I supposed to do? Light a match and stick it up my whatever to find it?

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Meet the Author

Andy V. Roamer grew up in the Boston area and moved to New York City after college. He worked in book publishing for many years, starting out in the children’s and YA books division and then wearing many other hats. “The Pizza Chronicles” are his novels about RV, the teenage son of immigrants from Lithuania in Eastern Europe, as RV tries to negotiate his demanding high school, his budding sexuality, and new relationships. He has written an adult novel, Confessions of a Gay Curmudgeon, under the pen name Andy V. Ambrose. To relax, Andy loves to ride his bike, read, watch foreign and independent movies, and travel.

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New Release Blitz ~ Kinks and Crosshairs by M.C. Roth (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Kinks and Crosshairs by M.C. Roth

Book 3 in the It’s a Kink Thing series

General Release Date: 8th November 2022

Word Count:  71,212
Book Length: SUPER NOVEL
Pages: 258

Genres:

ACTION AND ADVENTURE
BONDAGE AND BDSM
CONTEMPORARY
EROTIC ROMANCE
GAY
GLBTQI
THRILLERS AND SUSPENSE

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Book Description


Sometimes you have to ignore your conscience to save your life and fall in love.

Two years ago, Henley gave up his life and transferred to a new city, creating a persona where he could finally be himself. But after going through more than a dozen submissives, he is bored and looking for a good time. He’s not asking for much—just a man twice his size who he can take down before making him beg.

Unfortunately, Henley is also an undercover agent who is stuck guarding a rich kid with a drug problem.

Stumbling home after a long shift, Henley runs into Li. Li is just a civilian, but he draws Henley in like no other has before. A spark ignites between them that can’t help but smolder. Li doesn’t seem to know the first thing about kink, but Henley has never been more satisfied or enthralled.

But Henley’s life is a lie—and he’s not the only one. When a bullet goes through his charge’s forehead in the middle of his shift, Henley finds himself on a chase that spans continents. The only way he can be with Li is if he ignores his conscience and gives up everything he’s ever stood for.

Reader advisory: This book contains instances of breathplay, primal play, drug and alcohol use, death of a minor character, violence and threatened torture.

Excerpt

The only thing worse than undercover work was babysitting. At least when he was undercover, Henley could give himself a cool superhero name and occupation like ‘Mr. Duncan Peters, high school superintendent and nighttime vigilante’.

But babysitting?

Some agents loved it, but they were the ones who called it ‘bodyguard duty’ and got thrills at the idea of taking a bullet for someone whose middle name was ‘rich boy’. Sure, there were some good cases out there, but for the most part, it was that rich boy in front of him.

He cast his gaze around the club, trying to ignore the way the lights made his temples throb every time they caught his eyes. The entrances were clear, with the same bouncers who had been standing guard all night. Only one had slipped away briefly and had returned red-faced with a hickey on his neck and lipstick smeared against the corner of his lips. Lucky guy.

The ceiling was solid drywall, only interspersed with two vents and the constant flashing lights. No one was getting the jump on him from above. And luckily, there was a single door, which made his job a hell of a lot easier but had him worrying about fire hazards.

The gig wasn’t terrible, but it got old fast when his charge was some spoiled brat who was high on blow and had fucked seven different chicks in the last three days.

He kinda envied the kid’s stamina, though.

Somebody didn’t. Someone had put a death threat out on the kid after Henley’s boss had apparently fucked with the wrong people. Didn’t see that one coming. Henley rolled his eyes. He’d never seen so much drama in his life.

The kid’s father had enough money and pull to get three more bodyguards assigned, along with his regular squad of four goons. The other two additional bodyguards were nothing more than glorified mercs with a bit of a conscience, but Henley?

He chuckled, shaking his head as he spied his ‘colleague’ along the far wall. He was checking the exits, same as Henley was, with his beefy arms crossed and his tattoos on display, much to the ladies’ delight.

Henley hadn’t actually been a mercenary for a long time, even if almost nobody in the world knew that. But even while in that department, people treated him as a bit of a joke. He didn’t have the size or the tattoos for anyone to take him seriously.

Nodding along with the beat, he did a little twirl, bumping hips with a lady who gave him a whoop and a smile. She was rocking six-inch heels like they didn’t even hurt, dancing with him for a minute before he gave her a wink and melted away from the crowd.

The view was decent from where he leaned against the wall, the beat shivering against his back. Tattoo guy was pretty hot, but one dropped suggestion for a hookup in the bathroom and that ship had sailed. And as nice as the ladies were, they didn’t exactly have the equipment Henley was after.

Sigh. Sometimes it was like guys didn’t expect him to be gay. It wasn’t his fault that he missed more than he hit when trying to spot a fellow nut fan.

He tried. There was a rainbow sticker on the butt of his gun and a matching pin on his fanny pack that gave him away, if anyone cared to be observant. As for the fanny pack, he was bringing the trend back, and it was a great place to store extra clips for his lethal baby.

His knife was pink—and fabulous, too—although it was tucked away where no one could see it. And he was drinking a strawberry daiquiri—a little more strawberry, a little less daiquiri…because he was working, after all.

How could I not be gay? The male body and all its intricacies was where the party was at. It was a true shame that some straight men never indulged in the pure wonder that was the prostate.

Sighing, he tried giving the goon one last look from across the room, standing on his tiptoes to see over the writhing mass. I need a fucking stool. It was like trying to spot someone in a corn field.

His phone buzzed from within his fanny pack, humming against his belly and sending the strange sensation of vibrating bullets against his skin. Tapping the line hooked over his ear, he turned away from his charge, marching to the exit and easing through the first layer of doors to where the music volume was more reasonable.

“Rosco.” He used his mercenary name to answer.

“Is he safe?” asked Mr. Martinez, his kinda-sorta boss on the other end of the line. Henley let out a huffing breath as he peered at a few flyers that had been pinned to the wall separating the club entrance from the outside world. Are’ high’ and ‘drunk’ still considered safe?

“He has a full squad with him at all times. No one is getting to your son unless he goes through every one of us first.” He pressed the speaker farther into his ear, trying to catch Martinez’s reply over the music.

“My sources tell me that the hit will be taking place tomorrow. I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen if you fail me.”

Always such a chipper guy. There was a reason that his body count was nearly as high as Henley’s—which happened to be the main reason for Henley’s undercover assignment to the case.

“He’s not making it easy. He should be underground, not in a club,” said Henley, ripping the number off one of the advertisements for car cleaning and stuffing it into his pocket. He was between vehicles at the moment, but he never knew when he would need a bit of remains scrubbed out of his back seat.

The bar was packed, and of course, the little dipshit he was trying to protect had dragged them to the same club again for the third night in a row. One more night and he would have to look up to see if his benefits covered hearing damage.

The music was so loud that it couldn’t have been legal, thrumming against his chest in a monotonous beat that made him feel way too old. He knew music and a good beat, but that shit coming out of the speakers? Gah. He’d heard the same whispered line after a siren over thirty times that night alone.

The lighting was the second issue. It was hard to tell a purse from a weapon, and he had to squint to try to catch a glimpse of his Romeo across the club. The swirling lights helped visibility a bit, unless they were shining directly into his eyes. If someone smuggled in a shotgun, he wouldn’t know until it was pressed to the back of the kid’s head.

It really didn’t explain why Henley was looking at close to forty female booties without a single interesting dangly between them. The kid’s father had cleared the bar of all male clientele after a quick phone call. They were certain that a man had sent the threat, so bring on the ladies, right?

“I’ve banned every possible assassin from that club, and, as you said, you have a full detail on him. How is that hard?” asked Mr. Martinez, his voice dropping into a growl. “Keep him safe, or you’ll wish you were dead.”

Because apparently chicks couldn’t kill.

Henley begged to disagree. The woman who’d trained him was the most terrifying person he had ever met, and she could probably still kick his ass, even though she was in her late forties and had popped out three screaming munchkins in the last five years.

“Hello?” Henley tapped his ear, but the line had already gone dead. Just what I need…another death threat. Some people collected stamps or classic dinky cars, but Henley had always liked to stay on the wilder side of things.

But death threats weren’t worth much, and he couldn’t exactly leave them for his family if he did wind up getting shot.

He popped back through the club door, shaking his head as he eyed his charge, who had a different woman in his arms and another grinding against his back. Looking off to the windows that lined the entire side of the club, he stared into the night, letting the music roll over him.

“You gonna head out soon?” asked his sexy goon as he moved closer, shouting into Henley’s ear over the music. His breath was tinted with bitter alcohol and his shirt reeked of cigarettes. Maybe Henley had dodged a cancerous bullet.

What time is it? Oh, shit. Henley glared at his watch, hoping that the numbers were wrong. There were so many exposed women on the dance floor that he must’ve retreated into himself to try to save his sexuality. Women could be beautiful, but not when they were stumbling drunk and groping the only guy on the dance floor as if he were the last dick on the planet. Henley had seen that dick unfortunately, and it was not worth the effort.

He shook out his hand, his watch shifting on his wrist but not resetting like it was supposed to. He’d been standing there for the last half hour, not even getting fucking paid. Babysitting blows.

“Yeah, and the offer still stands. Come by my place if you want a good time later,” said Henley, pulling the bodyguard down to him to whisper into his ear. The guy went tense, jerking back with narrowed eyes.

Nope, no interest at all. Couldn’t blame him for trying. He hadn’t bothered to ask the goon’s name, so his hopes hadn’t been that high, anyway.

The bodyguard shouted something, but Henley didn’t bother trying to decipher it over the thrumming beat. He’d struck out…nine times in the last week? Maybe it had been more. Either way, everyone must’ve gone straight or moved to Colorado, because it was a fucking desert out there right now.

Pushing his way through the sea of sweaty, horny and drugged bodies, he headed for the exit and the promise sweet night air. Sweat beaded over his temples as he nodded to one of the bouncers before pushing his way out of the door. The touch of fresh air was better than a power nap on a Sunday afternoon and twice as refreshing.

Taking a breath, he slammed the door behind him, cutting off the plaguing sound of yet another siren. Whoever was making club music these days needed a muse or something because that shit had been pathetic.

Or maybe it’s because anything remotely pop-like gives me hives?

The club door led directly to the street, a few streetlamps spotted over the empty plane of asphalt and concrete. The closest one flickered, giving off the same sound as a humming cricket as the bulb flashed. The smooth road was barely three steps away, the thin sidewalk the only thing separating the club from the rest of the world.

Old brick buildings surrounded him on all sides, with so many spots to hide that it was nearly impossible to cover them all. Three were multi-leveled stores, some with apartments above. The one across the road with the pale brick and the flashing sign was where he’d set up his temporary apartment when he’d taken the assignment.

Usually he didn’t like to eat so close to where he worked, but the apartment window offered a perfect view of the place, and he could see inside the club with the stretch of windows that surrounded it from floor to ceiling. He was technically on point for the assignment, so he didn’t want to let the kid out of his sight for too long.

He’d chosen that particular apartment because he’d heard a rumor that the club was a kink club of sorts, too. He didn’t care if it hosted a munch or a full-blown party, because some fresh faces were exactly what he needed, even if they weren’t the feral pups he was looking for.

Unfortunately, he had yet to see a single hint of leather making its way through the doors as he’d watched from his perch on the couch.

Henley slowed his pace as the thump of the music started to dim, pulling the sleeves of his shirt down over his wrists. The air had started to grow crisper as winter approached, although the days were still somewhat warm. If he held his breath long enough, he could almost see the steam of it under the lamp light as he exhaled.

When he’d moved to Canada, he had done it because everything he’d known about the country had told him it was supposed to be cold, with igloo houses and dog sleds and shit.

Three years earlier, during his first summer near the southern tip of the country, the air had been so thick and hot that his ice-cream cone had melted in thirty seconds flat. He’d spent most of the summers half naked by a pool since, only venturing out when he could get away with his long-sleeved T.

He had half considered moving back to… No, he was never going back, no matter how hot it got.

Luckily, the winters were ball-freezing cold, which was exactly the way he wanted them. And the kink community was thriving, even if they were more on the down-low than where he was from.

Nonchalantly reaching for his gun, he clicked the safety off, dropping his hands a moment later. There was someone standing outside of his apartment building, leaning down and inspecting the lock. The place was a little run-down, but it had decent security, and the guy didn’t look like anyone he’d seen in the video feeds he’d hacked.

He had an entire wall covered in labeled pictures with every person who had come and gone in the building since he’d set up there. He didn’t bother with their actual names on the photographs because ‘lady with nine cats’ and ‘guy who is always high’ were way easier to remember.

But the guy at the door was nowhere on his wall. In fact, it looked like the guy was either unsuccessfully trying to pick the lock, or…

Henley slowed, flexing his biceps to make sure that his knife was still securely strapped there. He couldn’t feel the one at his ankle through his sock, but he had checked on it the last time he’d taken a bathroom break. The one at his back along his waistband shifted with every move, comforting him with its weight.

Something caught the light as the man at the door dropped to his knees, leaning closer to the lock. His long hair looked nearly as dark as the night that wrapped around them, falling past his shoulders to hide most of his face from Henley’s view.

“It works better with the right equipment,” said Henley as he ducked into the security lights at the door, taking a quick glance at his ankle as he took another step. A tiny sliver of a pink handle looked back at him. It was a specialized ceramic that was sharp as fuck and tricked most metal detectors. Unfortunately, it came with the cost of single-use-only sometimes, as it would shatter if he slammed it into someone’s spine.

He’d been eyeing up a baby blue one just like it online a few days prior, and he hadn’t decided if it was going to be his birthday gift to himself or not. Then there was the gun with pink bullets, of course. Do they make pink bullets? Nah, it doesn’t matter. He would just make them himself.

The guy at the door snapped up to his feet, looking over his shoulder in surprise. “What?”

Very nice. The lock picker was taller than Henley had thought, and probably around six-one, which was just the type of challenge he usually looked for. He was thinner than he had looked from afar, packed into a thick coat that was too warm for the weather and dark gloves that hid his presumably pale skin from view. His long hair scraped against his coat as he moved, whooshing as if a breeze had picked up in the middle of the city.

The way the security lights caught his eyes made them appear almost black, highlighting the pale skin of his cheek bones and accentuating his jaw that looked strong enough to be a nutcracker.

“I just…” The lock picker trailed off as he gave Henley a once-over, flickering his gaze from the toes of Henley’s rainbow runners and pausing on his fanny pack for a moment.

One look spoke more than a thousand words. It was the same look that Henley had been seeking for weeks. Yes! There are still gays out there. Play this right.

“You were just trying to pick the lock. Let’s see what you’ve got, because it obviously isn’t working,” said Henley, crossing his arms so he could touch the blade at his wrist. It was rigid under his fingertips as he slipped down his sleeve to the handle, ready to pull it from its holster. The gun at his waist seemed to throb, exposed and visible to anyone who cared to look.

It was on display for a reason. Bad guys always seemed to wait to act until he grabbed for his gun. Watching their surprise as he pulled a knife on them instead was half the fun.

“I’m not.” The lock picker shook his head, his eyes going wide as he caught sight of Henley’s gun. Taking a step back, he let one a whooshing breath, condensation steaming against his lips. “I just… My key won’t work.”

Ah shit. Henley blinked, squinting at the guy’s hand in the low light. Maybe it was time for him to give up his stubbornness and wear the glasses his optometrist had insisted on. He hadn’t missed a target yet, but it was only a matter of time.

The guy didn’t have any equipment on him at all. No pins or picks—just a ring and a couple of funky-looking key chains attached to an array of colorful keys. If he wasn’t mistaken, the guy had gone to three different Mexican resorts and had gotten a sandal keychain at each one.

I’m getting way too paranoid for my own good.

“Heh.” Henley scrubbed the back of his head, widening his stance just in case. He’d been fooled before by guys that were half as cute. One had even managed to get a jump on him when he’d reached for his dick, leaving a scar the size of a nickel right next to the prize.

But this guy wasn’t cute, he was beautiful, with a smooth face that looked like it had never had a five o’clock shadow. Lucky bastard. Henley had a shadow fifteen minutes after he shaved, and by the end of the day, he looked like he’d been roughing it in the woods for a week. It was too bad that a beard didn’t suit him.

“I’m Henley,” he said, holding out his hand like an absolute dork. He flushed, ready to draw his hand back, before the guy clasped it, shaking twice.

Taking a moment to enjoy, Henley smiled up at the stranger. His grip was good, his wrist relaxed, so he was probably a successful interview candidate and definitely didn’t have any weapons concealed there. And his legs were too close together to have enough balance to start a fight that he would have any chance of winning.

That left two options—civilian or amateur.

“You’re supposed to tell me your name, too,” said Henley, sliding his thumb over the back of the amateur’s gloved knuckles. The leather was soft, like it had just been dipped in body butter.

“Li.”

Interesting. The guy didn’t look like a ‘Li’. He looked more like a ‘Damien’, or ‘Grey’, or ‘Marius’—with a little less vampirism. There was a chance it was a fake name, though.

“Can you help me get in?” asked Li, handing his keys over to Henley. “I just moved in, and the key the superintendent gave me doesn’t work. I’ve been trying for five minutes, but no luck.”

“There is no superintendent, and you look like you could save your time and kick the door down instead,” said Henley, playing with the keys in his hand. None of them felt heavier than they should have…or lighter. Companies were getting better, though, and things could be hidden in the most innocent of places. One of the keychains looked pretty suspect. No one actually kept a smiley face on their keychain, did they?

“Um, Mr. Richty? Does he have a different title? Landlord maybe? And I can’t kick the door down. That just sounds painful and expensive.” Li reached for his keys, and Henley dropped them into his outstretched palm.

“I’m just fucking with you, kid. Try the blue one, and wiggle it a little,” said Henley, leaning up against the door and crossing his arms. Li’s hand trembled as he searched for the right key, almost dropping the entire bundle before he found it at last. A flush bloomed across his cheeks, and he looked to Henley every few seconds.

Civilian it was. Booooring, unless they were kinky. Normally, Henley had no problem asking someone outright. It was a conversation starter.

“Can I put a collar around your throat and plug your ass with a tail before I chase you around my apartment?”

There could be a reason that he was striking out so often. The last goon had looked like he was about to pass out when Henley had run that by him.

“Oh,” said Li, slipping the blue key into the lock. It turned on the first try, the door clicking open with a low clunk. “Thanks, but I’m not a kid.”

Henley grinned to himself, shuddering in the cool air. Of course, Li wasn’t a kid. He was definitely legal, hence fair game. He did look a bit skittish, though.

“Sorry, Li. You said you just moved in?” asked Henley, slipping through the door as Li held it open for him like a gentleman. “You know what? I can’t call you Li. It just doesn’t suit you, and it’s just going to bother me all night.” He grinned at Li, waiting for the telltale flush that would spark any second. Fuck, he loved being right.

Li looked good to begin with, but with the beginnings of a blush, he turned downright fuckable. Henley was going to climb him like a tree…then trip him and take him the fuck down.

On that thought, maybe there was more than one reason he was striking out.

“All night?” asked Li, his voice catching with an adorable stutter that would have been cute if it hadn’t been so sexy. The breeze of the closing door caught his dark hair, throwing it over his shoulder until his pale neck was on display. It looked like it would hold his marks for days.

“Yeah,” said Henley, pulling the door shut behind him and leaning against it. The night air hadn’t done Li justice. His skin was flawless perfection, everything hard and soft in just the right way. He belonged in a penthouse suite, not a run-down apartment building with neglected flyers bursting out of the busted rectangular mailboxes.

“This is the part where you ask me to show you around, and I show you my favorite spot. I’m a gentleman like that.” Henley eyed Li up, wishing that he could see right through his thick jacket. Was he soft there, too, or hard and thick like his long legs? “Then I’ll show you your new favorite spot.” Henley leaned in, rocking up on his toes so he could get close enough to whisper into Li’s ear. It was a bigger stretch than he’d expected. “I’ll give you a hint. It’s your prostate.”

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About the Author

M.C. Roth

M.C. Roth lives in Canada and loves every season, even the dreaded Canadian winter. She graduated with honours from the Associate Diploma Program in Veterinary Technology at the University of Guelph before choosing a different career path.

Between caring for her young son, spending time with her husband, and feeding treats to her menagerie of animals, she still spends every spare second devoted to her passion for writing.

She loves growing peppers that are hot enough to make grown men cry, but she doesn’t like spicy food herself. Her favourite thing, other than writing of course, is to find a quiet place in the wilderness and listen to the birds while dreaming about the gorgeous men in her head.

Find out more about M.C. Roth at her website.

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New Release Blitz ~ Jack This Heart by Aurora Russell (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Jack This Heart by Landra Graf

Book 2 in the Full Throttle Cyborgs series

Word Count:  58,323
Book Length: NOVEL
Pages: 235

GENRES:

ACTION AND ADVENTURE
ENEMIES TO LOVERS
EROTIC ROMANCE
FUTURISTIC AND SCIENCE FICTION
ROMANCE
SCIENCE FICTION

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Book Description


Love like you stole it.

Jack Renfro lost his leg in a racing accident ten years ago. The cybernetic replacement he received from the moon techies has increased his strength, stamina and fortitude, making him prime for racing. But the racing dome doctor says Jack’s implants are poisoning his blood and his body. If he doesn’t get them fixed, racing will be the least of his worries.

Enter moon tech Shannon Moore, a survivor of the Humans First Terrorist cell purge. She’s known for her cybernetic work, but finds most racers and their philosophies disgusting. Especially since she was born on Mars and is spying on behalf of the Macintosh gang to pay off her betting debts.

Too bad close quarters make Shannon realize that she and Jack have a connection far deeper than simply saving Jack’s life, and his Full Throttle partners are supporting a town, not tearing it apart. When Shannon’s secret unravels, will the newfound relationship she and Jack have survive?

Reader advisory: This book contains scenes of drug use, violence, and torture.

Excerpt

The rush of the wind, the scent of iron-rich dirt in the air, and the vibration tingling the pads of his fingertips—Jack Renfro had missed all these things. Add in the way his cyborg foot could put the pedal to the metal, and sitting behind the wheel of the new Full Throttle racer was the comeback he’d been waiting for.

They’d rebuilt the racer in less than a month after the explosion…the damn explosion that had taken appendages from his fellow driver, Hemi. An explosion with a victim, but no guilty party located.

Bastards.

Jack gritted his teeth as he slowly turned the wheel coming out of turn two on the track, loving the feel of the ground under the tires. This racer handled like a dream, and while he despised the circumstances that got him behind the wheel again, he couldn’t deny the immense pleasure coursing through his veins.

The test drive today was all about his control of the speed, the angles. They’d upgrade to running against obstacles in the next couple days. But if he passed this handling portion, he’d ask if he could trigger the NiteOx, or nitrous oxide in scientific terms. The liquid mixture ignited with the Marsanium sludge to create a faster burning fuel mix, which would allow him to speed up even more on the track. That same chemical compound had ruined his future, but circumstances were different now. Full Throttle had an engineer and mechanics team light-years past the competition his old gang, the Smiths, had supplied.

Dust or bust.

This had been Jack’s life prior to the accident. He’d been the top racer for the Smith gang-town. Then there had been the explosion from a new test engine—he’d lost his leg and his shot at a championship. He’d been lost for a bit after the crash, unsure of his future and whether life was worth living. The cybernetic test had given him another chance. No way would he screw it up.

Not this time.

No, he’d get this baby up to speed and past those barriers holding both him and the racer back. Even now, coming out of turn three, the racer was the perfect balance of tight and loose.

“Gina, you and Snapper really worked a miracle on this one. I’m about to hit top-out speeds. On the next straightaway, am I clear to trigger?” The moment of truth—he waited it out. The buzz in his ears was a mixture of the background static in his helmet communicator and the stupid hum of the engine roar as he started to come out of the last turn.

“If you feel she’s ready, you’re a go.” Snapper’s response came through with confidence in his tone.

The trust Jack picked up surged through him. They were leaving this in his hands, and damn it if he wouldn’t make them proud. For once in his life, he’d finally exceed beyond where he’d come from. He’d be more than the son of the town addict and her lovelorn sucker of a husband.

The shining metal of his cyborg foot glimmered as the sun’s rays reflected off it, the pressure on the gas pedal lessening. A sharp pain jolted into his right hip and Jack did his best not to jerk the wheel, especially when the pain spread. He had to release his hold on the pedal entirely.

The racer began to reduce in speed. No more wind. No more blur of the stands. No more testing.

“Jack, what the hell is happening out there?”

He could hear Snapper’s question echo, along with Gina’s repeated concerns in the background. But all he could get out in response was, “Help. It hurts.”

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About the Author

Landra Graf

Landra Graf consumes at least one book a day, and has always been a sucker for stories where true love conquers all. She believes in the power of the written word, and the joy such words can bring. In between spending time with her family and having book adventures, she writes romance with the goal of giving everyone, fictional or not, their own happily ever after.

You can visit Landra’s website here, find her Amazon author page here and follow her on Pinterest here.

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New Release Blitz ~ Somewhere In Between by Liia Ann White (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Somewhere In Between by Liia Ann White

Book 1 in the Masters of Haven series

Word Count:   92,843
Book Length: SUPER NOVEL
Pages: 347

Genres:

BONDAGE AND BDSM
CONTEMPORARY
EROTIC ROMANCE

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Book Description


Prepare to enter a world filled with pleasure and desire.

Meet Amara, an ordinary twenty-eight-year-old woman trying to navigate her way through life. Amara is a full-time carer for her mum. Her life isn’t easy but is fairly routine…until one night she joins her friends at an exclusive BDSM club, somewhere she hasn’t been in a long time.

She thought it would be a relatively normal night, but she was wrong. Because she met him…Sullivan. He is unlike anyone she’s ever met before.

Since her previous dabbling in the BDSM community, she has developed uneasy feelings about various aspects of her life. But Sullivan has managed to break through her barriers and expose her deepest desires, bringing out the most intense pleasure she’s ever experienced.

Now Amara must decide if she’s ready for this new life of fiery passion.

Will this new romance bring her more pleasure or pain?

Or will it consume and implode everything around her?

One thing is for certain—nothing will be the same again.

Reader advisory: This book contains mentions of dementia, the serious illness of secondary character, past alcoholism, body image issues, seizure, and the off-label use of painkillers.

Excerpt

Amara entered the club and fought the sudden urge to flee. It had been eighteen months since she’d stepped foot inside Haven, Perth’s most exclusive BDSM club, and so much had changed in that time. This used to be her safe haven, the one place she never had to hide her true self. Where she could let go of her control issues and let her submissive side come out to play. Now, it was a strange place. It was somehow more daunting. She didn’t belong here anymore.

With her best friend by her side, she signed in as a guest and handed over her completed waiver and membership forms. The dim lighting from chandeliers and wall sconces cast red and gold glows around the main room. The only well-lit section was around the bar. Everything spoke of darkness, pleasure and sex—the wooden flooring, darkly painted walls, exposed beams that held an assortment of chandeliers.

There was no artwork on the walls anymore. Instead, they were decorated with an array of toys free for anyone to use. Even the position of the bar had changed. Now set against the far-left wall, the oblong wooden bar top sat as a feature of the room. Chains hung from the top beams and deeply set metal links were inserted into the wooden top. Perfect for naughty little submissives, she thought.

A dance floor took up a small portion of the converted warehouse, and the rest of it was taken up by an array of black and brown lounges, armchairs and small tables. But there was plenty of empty space for play, for submissives to be splayed out as tables, as one man currently was. A Domme sat on a black leather lounge and had her boot-covered feet resting on his back. The look on the man’s face, that smile of pleasure and desire as he looked straight ahead while his Domme spoke to him… Amara knew that feeling well and missed it deeply. It filled her with envy.

The familiar scents of leather mixed with sweat and sex invaded her nose as she inhaled deeply. The sounds of leather slapping flesh, bare hands smacking arses and cries of pain and pleasure were comforting. It had been far too long since she’d been involved in any of this. Despite her good reasons, she mentally kicked herself for taking such a long break. The atmosphere of the club called to her. She’d missed this, needed this. When she’d frequented it previously, it had still been a public club. Now, under new ownership, it was private and exclusive. She’d been lucky to get access to a temporary membership. If she hadn’t been helping with a demonstration, she wouldn’t be here at all.

A hand touched her back and guided her towards the bar. Her friend Larissa gestured for her to take a seat on a red leather-covered stool and took a seat beside her.

“Haven looks so different now,” Amara said as she looked around.

“Yeah, the new owner did a complete renovation before he opened it up. He’s always changing things around, though,” Larissa said.

“You’ll have to introduce me so I can thank him for allowing me in.”

“I can’t believe he gave you a month-long pass. Good thing we vouched for you, isn’t it?”

Amara regarded her friend with a small smile, despite the sadness and anxiety that filled her. “Too bad I won’t be using it other than tonight.”

No matter how badly she wanted to, she wouldn’t be returning. She simply didn’t have the time. She was a twenty-eight-year-old woman with almost no social life. And wasn’t that just a little depressing?

“You will be coming back next week. You promised me.” Larissa’s stern expression told her there would be no give on her promise.

“Fine, I’ll come back next week. But after that, you know I can’t.”

“I know why you say you can’t. I’m sure you could work something out.”

Amara accepted her drink from the bartender, thankful for the interruption. She didn’t want to talk. Not tonight. Tonight was about her dipping her toes back into the old lifestyle she’d loved so much to see if there was still a spark there. Not that she expected to play with anyone tonight. Now that she looked around to see all the other women nearby, she realised it definitely wouldn’t be happening. They all held such confidence, self-assurance. Two things she was now severely lacking.

What had happened to her? She used to saunter around confidently, knowing how to turn on her sexual appeal like a switch. Once upon a time she would have shown up in a latex skirt and a tight corset, sexy as hell. Now, she wore a multicoloured pleated skirt that was too short for her comfort and a tight black top that showcased her large breasts and veered attention away from everything else. She’d gained weight and had more fat rolls than she used to, bigger curves than she was comfortable with. In some spots, she was just plain round. She used to love her curves, the roundness of her belly, the mounds of her breasts, the softness of her thighs, but now… Now it was all too much.

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About the Author

Liia Ann White

A born and bred Aussie, Liia hails from Perth, Western Australia. After spending her childhood years dreaming of far-off lands, she eventually discovered her love of romance and hasn’t looked back since.

A self-proclaimed geek, she loves all things Disney and Star Wars. Being a bisexual, bipolar and ADHD battler, she is passionate about mental health and LGBTQIA+ rights, as well as advocating for animal rights.

When not writing, she can be found curled up with a good book, with her two dogs by her side.

Follow Liia on Instagram and check out her website.

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New Release Blitz: Violent Horizons by Sam Clover (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Title:  Violent Horizons

Author: Sam Clover

Publisher:  NineStar Press

Release Date: 11/01/2022

Heat Level: 3 – Some Sex

Pairing: Male/Male

Length: 75800

Genre: Science Fiction, LGBTQIA+, Action/adventure, aliens, alpha males, bonded, dark, explicit sex, immortal, interspecies, mind control, scientists, sex industry, space/sci-fi

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Description

Silas has lived his entire life in a tiny, floating workshop in the ass end of the galaxy with his tinkerer lover. When a tall, dark, and dangerously handsome technophiliac murders his tinkerer in search of a code, Silas is thrown from the only home he’s ever known, out into a universe teeming with monsters.

Stranded and terrified, he’s rescued by a massive Reptilian named Loc with a bad attitude and a well-earned wariness toward anything remotely human. The last thing Loc expects is for a human to worm its way through his defenses. Or for that damn human to lead him on a chase through the galaxy when the charming technophiliac discovers his precious code did not die with the tinkerer.

Excerpt

Violent Horizons
Sam Clover © 2022
All Rights Reserved

01: Bitter Black Coffee
Silas was an abomination, and he didn’t even know it. The insidious guilt about Ehsan’s creation gnawed at him most in those dreadful, quiet moments when Silas was asleep.

Not that he ever let the guilt stop him. Even as it plagued his thoughts, his wayward fingers slid up the smooth, warm flesh of a calf and over the thin, barely there sheet that hugged those subtle curves of the thigh and hip in all the right places. The farther up he traveled, the harder his lust strained against his pants.

Sleepy eyes fluttered open to shine a clear crystal blue, completely indistinguishable from real ones, if a little brighter. Originally, he’d made them from resin, but that was a long time ago. Now those eyes and every other piece of that lithe body were synthesized from a material he didn’t completely understand. All he knew was how real they sparkled in the artificial sunlight. How real the soft flesh submitted beneath his hungry touch. And how merely gazing into that oblivious sea of crystalline blue made his knees weak.

He perched on the side of the bed. His touch travelled faster, gliding up over the firm muscle of Silas’s ass cheek.

“Daddy?”

Ehsan cringed. He hated that he taught Silas that word. When he was only a prototype—a vaguely sentient marionette with the intelligence of a lemming—it had been cute. But now… “You’re an adult. Please try to sound like one.”

Silas let out a sleepy groan. He shifted beneath the sheet as he rolled onto his side, stretching his spine in a curl and slipping a pale leg farther out of the sheet. Like he had no idea what it was doing to Ehsan. He pushed his messy blond curls out of his face and murmured, “You like it.”

Ehsan wrapped his hand around his soft thigh. He pulled the lithe young man closer, to the tune of a laugh, and fumbled with his own pants. “It’s creepy. Call me by my name.”

Silas’s plump, pink lips twitched with the beginnings of a lazy grin, enough to show the glint of his teeth before he grazed them over his bottom lip and breathily said, “Papi?”

Ehsan coughed out a laugh. “No–”

“Ay,” Silas ran a foot up Ehsan’s side, “mi papi chulo.”

“You—” Ehsan caught the foot. He chuckled as he pressed a teasing kiss to the curving arch on his way to climb onto the bed. He pushed Silas’s legs off to the side and pulled that round ass tight against his swelling groin.

Every inch of that warm flesh felt human, even the way the muscles clenched in anticipation of him. As he did in a thousand other moments like it, he was more than happy to forget what Silas really was.

He freed his cock and spat on it. The cool recycled air barely got a chance to touch it before he pushed inside.

Silas moaned softly. He curled his pale arms up over his head to grab fistfuls of the white sheets. So innocent, so willing, and without a clue how wrong it all was.

The guilt crept its way in, but the wet, tight heat enveloped him, melting those feelings clean away. His eyes rolled. His jaw slackened. He buried himself to the hilt before he began to rock his hips in shallow thrusts and dug his fingers into the pale flesh of Silas’s thigh, as if there were any chance he might slip away.

“Papi,” Silas panted out.

“Shush,” Ehsan ordered. “Don’t talk.”

“Daddy!”

Ehsan cracked his eyes open to glare down into those glimmering blues. But he found them wide and staring past him. His annoyance deflated. He glanced at the monitor on the wall as a ship pulled up alongside his.

“Shit!” Ehsan pulled out.

He stumbled off the bed and across the room. His erection slipped and bounced awkwardly from his fingers as he tried to stuff it into his pants. It was hard to think. Hard to remember the damn code he hadn’t used in months, but he tapped at the wall console anyway. Only took two tries to get it right.

The hiss of the airlocks filled the corridor. God, it grated on him, almost as much as the visitors the hiss announced. He cast a lingering glance at the blushing young man in his bed and sighed. “Just… Don’t move.”

“Sí, papi.”

Ehsan snorted. “Stop it.” He tore his eyes away and swept the curtains aside to go out and meet the opening airlock door.

A series of grunts preceded his guest. Took him all of two seconds to recognize the ship itself even though it had been nearly a decade since he’d seen it. Could use a decade more, if he were honest.

He leaned against his workshop counter and waited for the ox of a man to come bursting on through.

And sure enough, he did. Kaveh, his nephew, was a good six inches shy of the top of the seven-foot airlock frame, but he still ducked when he went under.

A light, ocean breeze cologne heralded his presence. As if it needed to, with all the drama of his walk and the flashiness of his clothes. This was a man who liked to stand out in a crowd, never mind a tiny room on a tiny station.

Kaveh flashed a quick smile at Ehsan and dropped a box on the counter beside him. “My favorite uncle! You look”—he paused and gave Ehsan a quick once-over—“older. I bring gifts!”

“Not really ‘gifts’ if I paid for them.” Ehsan folded his arms over his chest. The gesture came off a lot more insecure and a lot less intimidating than he intended.

“I brought what you asked for, but that’s not all.” Kaveh flicked open the latch. He carefully lifted the lid with both hands and gingerly pulled out a small glass vial. “This has been killing me the whole trip. You must tell me what it is. Medical or pleasure?”

“It’s not a drug.” Ehsan took it from him. “Where’s the book?”

“What book?”

Panic clawed up Ehsan’s spine. He gave his nephew a hard look. “It came with a book. A matchbox-sized book.”

Kaveh’s brows furrowed. “That thing with Chinese symbols?”

“It was Korean,” Ehsan growled.

“I threw it away. You don’t know Korean.”

Ehsan let out a frantic, humorless laugh. “I am fluent, you fuckwit.” He pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead as he stared at the vial in his hand.

This was bad.

That vial contained the code for a major update in his secret project. A very illegal update in a very illegal project, and one dangerous to discuss over comms. Without the patch notes, he had no way of knowing all the changes the code would make.

But what he did know about it set his heart racing with anticipation. He wasn’t sure how willing he was to wait another decade for the patch notes to be re-sent.

“Maybe this will help you relax.” Kaveh pulled things out. “Tea, whiskey, cigars, and”—he twitched his lips into a toothy grin as he brandished a box—“a doll to keep you company.”

Ehsan gaped at the box. “You bought me a blowup doll?”

“It gets lonely out here. She has a virtual intelligence that’s kind of charming, and you love tinkering so much, I thought you would—” Kaveh cut himself off. His gaze darted to the curtains.

Ehsan stiffened as his attention followed Kaveh’s to the naked body gliding out, unabashed under both their gazes with an erection in full view.

Kaveh was speechless. Briefly. It wasn’t long before his grin reappeared, and he gave Ehsan a you-old-hound-dog wink. He crossed the floor to offer Silas his hand. “Well, hello there! I had no idea my uncle already had company.”

Instead of taking the hand, Silas moved in closer. “Hello.” He ran his hands up Kaveh’s chest and pulled him down for a kiss.

“No!” Ehsan dove for them. He snatched Silas around the waist, tore him well away from Kaveh and gave him a push at the curtains. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Silas dragged his feet like he didn’t want to go. “I was greeting him.”

“We don’t greet strangers like that.” Ehsan cursed himself for not teaching Silas a goddamn handshake.

“He’s your nephew.”

“Get some pants on.” Ehsan yanked the curtains closed on his way back to his grinning nephew. “And you! Don’t say a fucking word.”

“Friendly guy, ain’t he?” Kaveh laughed.

Ehsan glared at him. “You got anything else in that box?”

“And here I thought you were just really excited to see me.”

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NineStar Press | Books2Read

Meet the Author

Sam Clover has been writing for over 15 years on online archives. She started out in the fanfiction community and made the leap over a decade ago into original queer fiction. She has a passion for representation, for kindness, and for encouraging new writers first putting their pen to paper.

She is a pansexual feminist with a penchant for pirates and horror, and she lives waaay up North in Alberta, Canada with her furbabies.

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New Release Blitz ~ Savage by Rae Marks (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Savage by Rae Marks

Book 3 in the Hart Consulting series

Word Count: 84,013
Book Length: SUPER NOVEL
Pages: 345

Genres:

ACTION AND ADVENTURE
CONTEMPORARY
EROTIC ROMANCE
GAY
GLBTQI
MEN IN UNIFORM
THRILLERS AND SUSPENSE

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Book Description

 

A happily ever after only ten years in the making.

For ten years Mase has tried to tamp down his feelings for Jazz. Every time they come close to having something real, Jazz panics and disappears. They break apart only to collide again.

After three years away, Mase comes home just in time to see something that twists his insides. Jazz was slipped a drug that loosens his tongue just enough to let a bit of his past slip free. But he only calls out for one person…Mase.

They’re locked together for the next few weeks. Mase is determined to show Jazz that there’s something undeniable between them, even if Jazz fights him every step of the way. But their investigation takes a dark turn, and Mase’s past is trying to catch up with him and push Jazz out of the way.

Reader advisory: This book is best read as book three in a series. It contains scenes of violence.

Excerpt

He’s gonna kill you,” Wade grumbled over the phone.

“He’s gonna have to make me first,” Mase said as he pulled up flights.

“He’s an operator of the highest caliber. He’ll probably feel it when you land at the same airport he did.”

Mase rolled his eyes. There was no way Jazz would ‘feel’ when he landed. Then again, Mase felt it when Jazz entered a room. It was like the air changed. In the beginning, he’d tried to ignore it, but over the past decade, it had become a part of him. He was a sucker for Jazz.

“I’m plenty angry at him, too,” Mase said. “I just might kill him for doing something so monumentally stupid.”

Jazz wouldn’t see Mase until he wanted Jazz to. And, at some point, Mase would want that. Jazz would learn he couldn’t just go rogue at any time without being detected.

“Fuck,” Max yelled as something crashed.

“Don’t throw that keyboard. It belongs to Hart Consulting,” Wade chided.

“I can afford to replace it,” Max said.

“I have no doubt, but that would mean you’ll have to use a regular keyboard until it arrives, so let’s just respect HC property.”

A scraping sound followed by the clackety-clack of typing meant Max had made up with his computer and was once again working to find Jazz with his mad hacker skills.

“I can’t find him. Why can’t I find him? I have better facial recognition software than the government does,” Max mumbled.

“Only because you took theirs and made it better,” Wade reminded him.

“Why start from scratch when you can improve on what’s already there?”

“If it’s so stellar, why can’t you locate Jazz?” Mase asked.

There was a sigh and more typing on the other end of the line. Mase had three tabs open on his laptop, each ready to book a flight to a different city.

Jazz was already in the air, headed to some unknown destination. They were stuck trying to figure out which flight he’d boarded.

“This is ridiculous,” Max said. “You can’t wear a hat or a hood through security, so why can’t I find him?”

Mase could tell that it was more of an ego thing than a general frustration on Max’s part. Max never missed. He didn’t screw up when it came to computers. He was a genius with both hardware and software, and Hart Consulting was lucky to have him.

Max had never been in the military, but he still had a call sign. His name was S.I.N. Some buddies in college had called him a Super Intel Nerd and the name had stuck and shortened to ‘Sin’.

The description fit Max, but the acronym didn’t. Mase only ever thought of him as Max, because if he looked at Max, his thoughts were more protective than sinful. Max was cute as a button…in a grumpy kitten sort of way. Sure, he was a good-looking kid—but he was still a kid.

He looked about sixteen, not twenty-four. And he was one of Mase’s kid brother’s best friends. Mase still couldn’t believe that his younger brothers had sought him out after all these years. He shifted in the pleather airport seat as he thought about how much pressure Nick was applying to get Mase to go see their father.

“Is there another way to find him?” Wade asked.

“Of course there is, but I still need to figure out how he slipped past my facial recognition software. If it’s a flaw in the program, I need to know and adjust for it.”

“Fret over your precious program later,” Mase said. “For now, find Jazz so I can get on a plane.”

Mase kept his voice low. He was already at the airport, bag in hand, ready to chase after Jazz. No one was close enough to hear what he was saying, but he was still paranoid. It came with the job.

“Fine,” Max sighed. “Let me follow his coordinates for a minute or two. I’ll match the trajectory with tail numbers of planes and find out where he’s going. If we didn’t have a GPS tracker on him, this wouldn’t be possible, so when you do see him, ask him how he slips past airport security cams.”

And Mase sent a thought of thanks to Dee, Jazz’s grandma. They’d all been worried about his erratic behavior over the past two months. Dee had helped them plant GPS trackers in items Jazz almost always had with him.

Mase would do everything he could to keep Dee’s name out of it, but he’d have to give up at least one of the trackers when he confronted Jazz. And there would definitely be a confrontation.

He’d give up the disk they’d placed in his wallet first. It was something any of them could have put there. Max had tagged each tracker. Currently, Jazz had two of the trackers on him, the one in his wallet and the one in the watch that had been his grandfather’s.

They’d put a third tracker in his favorite knife and a fourth in the knife that had been his grandfather’s, but Jazz had left both of those behind. It would have been hard to get them through airport security.

“Is it some CIA trick?” Max asked.

“What?”

“Dodging my facial rec program.”

“I’ll ask him if I ever find out where he’s going,” Mase said.

“Yeah, yeah. Almost there… Got it. He’s on a flight headed to Bush Intercontinental in Houston.”

“Fuck,” Mase said as he clicked on the tab with the flight to Houston.

“Houston’s bad?” Max asked.

“Martin Coleman lives in Texas, so not a good sign. Okay, flight’s booked. I’m out for at least forty-eight hours.”

“You’re risking your cover, too,” Wade warned.

“My job is to follow around Bernard. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Jazz was supposed to be undercover as a high-level French drug and human trafficker named Lucien Bernard. Mase had been rising in the ranks of a Ukrainian drug and human trafficking ring. Their covers were intersecting for the moment.

“We’ll make it work if we need to.” Wade sighed. “Texas is a believable place for you both to travel. I need you back by Wednesday, though, because Jazz has that meeting with Campbell, the lawyer from San Francisco, though I’d prefer to have you back by Tuesday. Double-D is coming in to go over financials, and since you’re Stateside…”

“I’ll be back. In fact, both Jazz and I will hopefully return long before Tuesday. I need to go catch my flight. We’ll talk when I touch down.”

Mase disconnected the call and got in line for the security checkpoint. Being back on American soil was great—and yet it wasn’t. Wade wanted him to jump into a role he’d neglected three years before when he’d moved to Ukraine.

Hart Consulting had originally started as a joke. While he was being investigated for sedition, Mase started investigating the men accusing him, namely his commanding officer and teammates.

It hadn’t initially worked out as he’d planned. Mase had been discharged, and two of the three men who’d testified against him were still in the army. But he’d done such a good job investigating his commanding officer that Captain Banning had been court-martialed and was still in jail. The assholes who had accused Mase of sexually harassing them were still serving their country.

Mase was no longer bitter, because he’d found his calling. The army had offered financial security when he’d had none. But Hart Consulting was his, and he was making a difference exactly where he wanted to.

He’d been cleared of most of the charges, though he hadn’t received an offer to return to service. He could probably thank Major General Moore for that.

Mase shook thoughts of Blake and his father out of his head. Coming back to the US had his past bombarding him. It seemed Jazz was facing the same issues.

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About the Author

Rae Marks

Rae has been secretly penning romances since high school. It started with short stories that grew into full-length novels. When she received her first Kindle and had thousands of books at her fingertips, she became a little distracted from writing. Then one day she read a book that she would have written a different way. She began writing again and hasn’t stopped since.

When she’s not writing, Rae can usually be found reading, walking along the beaches of Half Moon Bay, or taking her geriatric dog to the vet, yet again.

You can follow Rae on Instagram.

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New Release Blitz: Breakfast Buddies by Ildar Daminov (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Title:  Breakfast Buddies

Author: Ildar Daminov

Publisher:  NineStar Press

Release Date: 11/01/2022

Heat Level: 1 – No Sex

Pairing: Male/Male

Length: 23900

Genre: Contemporary, LGBTQIA+, college students, self-discovery, first love, cultural differences, writing

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Description

We humans are spectacularly bad at understanding our own emotions.

A socially conservative Asian young man makes a life-changing decision—he moves to an international metropolis in the very heart of Europe to start his first year as a student at a prestigious academic institution. During one of the very first breakfasts at his new residence he meets a senior student, Jürgen B., to whom he takes an instant liking. As their friendship progresses, these small breakfast sessions become more and more meaningful to the young man, who starts to question both his own identity and his values as he discovers the depth of his confusing feelings about Jürgen.

His struggles to figure out what Jürgen means to him are made even worse by his fears about opening up, especially to his own family. In his desperation, he turns to the only method at hand—reflecting on his diary records, which he makes every day. That is how his first academic year in Europe becomes an exercise in understanding and accepting himself and his own feelings. As the summer approaches, Jürgen, who is completely oblivious of his friend’s dilemma, is about to graduate and leave the academy for good. In the meantime, his friend is still torn between confessing his feelings and doing what others seeming to want from him.

Excerpt

Breakfast Buddies
Ildar Daminov © 2022
All Rights Reserved

Prologue
August 16, 2019

Sunny

We humans are spectacularly bad at understanding our own emotions.

I rummaged through a pile of books, trying to find it. Where could it be? I thought it had to be somewhere in between these dusty old tomes. Yet my attempts to find it seemed futile, and I got increasingly angry—my short-tempered nature did not help either. I pushed aside a pile of books standing in my way, mumbling in great annoyance. Some of them fell on the floor with loud thumps. After the idea came to me, I simply could not forget about it. I had to find it. There was just no other way. It must have been somewhere among all these heavy monographs on Korean politics, East Asian history, and countless language textbooks—the scholarly legacy of my former studies.

In my hectic search, I accidentally toppled one of the piles and cursed quietly. That was when I saw an old, laminated picture gracefully land on top of the scattered books. It looked familiar, so I picked it up. It was a photo of me and my academy friends—Jean Luc, Aja, Negasi, and… Jürgen. I felt a funny prickle in my heart. The picture made me slightly nostalgic about my student days. Ah, the academy, that international, scholarly melting pot. That was the place where it all started… Then I came back to my senses and shook my head, as if trying to free myself from some magical slumber. I had to concentrate, so I hid the photo in my coat pocket and resumed my search.

Where could it be? I clearly remembered leaving it here after my trip to Seoul, at least I thought I did. As the evening progressed, so did my desperation. I had come all the way back home to retrieve it—all this could not have been in vain! I sneezed. A cloud of dust exploded right in front of me, and I closed my eyes, grunting yet again in a mix of annoyance and desperation. Still, I persisted. After an extra hour of extensive searching that involved tired puffing, desperate muttering, and other forms of noiseless complaints, I finally found the precious object that I had been so obsessively looking for.

There it was. A rather unremarkable battered notebook with a brown leather cover that had almost lost its color. The binding had two numbers engraved on it—2016/2018. Inconspicuous though it looked, there was something mysteriously magical and enticing about it. Why did I need it so badly in the first place? I asked myself. I certainly knew the uncomfortable answer. It was a part of me, a part that I wanted to forget. Its semi-magical importance was reflected in the story that it told—a long-forgotten story of internal struggle, love, cowardice, and personal growth.

I smiled to myself furtively. It had taken a lot of courage to get back home, find it, and embark on a new adventure. So I had to make sure that I did everything properly. After all, diaries are simple but powerful tools: these mighty artifacts of the past that can bring back unnecessary memories and reopen old wounds. A phenomenon truly curious and somewhat egocentric in nature. Why do we even write diaries? We share our hopes and dreams, vent out anger and frustration in their pages. There are people who do not even have a clear aim when they first put pen to paper. There are people who want to organize their thoughts properly. There are people who do not know to whom they could entrust their secrets and so choose a silent paper friend. There are people who like to self-reflect and want to better understand themselves. There are people…

So many people and so many diaries. Some are full of trite details of daily routines, while others diligently guard what our past selves thought to be our dearest and most important memories. Some become deeply cherished heirlooms passed down from generation to generation, while others are consumed by the insatiable quicksand of history, the names of those who wrote them vanishing like the final gentle whisper of the early autumn wind. Yet every diary—no matter how boring or gripping it is—tells a story and creates meaning where there was none. If used wisely, that meaning helps us to better understand this ridiculously complicated world through the stories of ourselves and others.

My furtive smile became brighter as I carefully studied the dusty notebook in my hands. I was full of triumph and determination—and yet felt a tiny droplet of melancholy and wistfulness. As I kept looking at it, I wondered whether I was ready to finish the last entry. Perhaps, this was the right time to revisit the diary and do it.

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Meet the Author

Ildar Daminov is a Tatar Kazakhstani social scientist and a modern-day nomad who resides in and travels across Europe. In his free time, he writes short stories in English and Russian and does a podcast on North Korea. If you like this story, you can contact him via his email or on Facebook.

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New Release Blitz: The Oracle’s Current by Mell Eight (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Title: The Oracle’s Current

Series: Oracle, Book Six

Author: Mell Eight

Publisher: NineStar Press

Release Date: 10/25/2022

Heat Level: 2 – Fade to Black Sex

Pairing: Male/Male

Length: 18800

Genre: Paranormal, LGBTQIA+, anthropomorphic, mythical creatures/dragons, magic users, hurt/comfort, royalty

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Description

Lichen grew up dreaming he was going to test into the Earth Caste. But when he walked out of the testing chamber with the brown hair of Earth and the blue eyes of Water, he knew something had gone terribly wrong. Instead of his dream, he tested into the elusive Ether Caste, which made him both a cherished wonder and a pariah. Unable to handle the strange mixture of adoration and abhorrence from his peers, Lichen leaves the Monastery with the hope of finding some sort of happiness.

But, when tragedy strikes the Monastery, Lichen fears he won’t be of much help. He still wants to lend a helping hand, or at least a shoulder to cry on, but the quest the Oracle sends him on instead is much more important—so important, in fact, that dying to ensure the success of his mission is a real possibility.

Excerpt

The Oracle’s Current
Mell Eight © 2022
All Rights Reserved

Water was unpredictable, constantly moving and changing. The Oracle knew that all too well. And yet, that fluidity was forever confined. The water balances were the cruelest of all the Castes. Water moved as much as Air, always somewhere different within the next hour, but Air could go anywhere while Water could not.

Earth dictates the flow of water. That was perhaps the worst of the balances. Water fought against it as much as possible, carving and smoothing the earth, but it never broke free. The Oracle’s Water Dragons never broke free.

Until the terrible moment they finally found the only way to escape, and the Oracle was never sure if she ought to rejoice with them or cry for them.

The twins were cherubic the first time she saw them. They were adorable toddlers with blond hair, bright-blue eyes, and wide smiles. To the awe of their parents, she had gently placed her hands on their foreheads, and listened.

The girl child would grow up strong and beautiful. She would be loved by everyone as a child, spoiled in the arms of her adoring fans. She would make people laugh with a smile and brighten a room just by entering it. She was a Water child. Her personality flowed gently like a stream, burbled like a brook, and shined under the warm sunlight.

Then she would test into her Caste and walk out of the testing chamber with the Dragon of Water tattooed across her back. Her hair would turn three different shades of blue, shifting constantly like water continuously moving through a stream. But every stream eventually hit the turbulence of rapids as it flowed over jutting rocks and debris. Her status would eventually lead to a treacherous waterfall and death on the rocks at the bottom. But that was her freedom, her escape, from her restrictions as the Dragon of Water.

Her brother would be a different story. He was shy and happy to allow his sister to take the limelight. He was akin to a small lake tucked into a mountain grove where only the few and privileged could find and enjoy his existence. He would grow up in the shadow of his twin sister, and he would be happy with his lot. Until his testing. His sister would walk out of the testing chambers the Dragon of Water. He would enter the chambers moments later with high expectations, but he would walk out with a uniform blue back and nothing more. Not even a ripple to destroy the endless pool of blue. He would share the same blue hair as his sister, but the similarities would end there.

His tattoo was of the deep sea. It was empty of creatures or landmarks. Only the currents, constantly changing with the tides, graced his back. The Oracle knew of the potential there, that eventually something lost would swim into view and find a home, but no one else did. How could one twin test so highly and the other so poorly? The Masters would ask that question incessantly.

He slipped back into the shadows of his sister’s life and watched as she was destroyed.

The Oracle’s Monastery was sick, her Masters poisoned by greed and power. They wanted things his sister couldn’t give but took those things anyway. A faction of men offered themselves up like geese to the slaughter in the belief that lying with the Dragon of Water would bring them extra prestige in their Castes. If she had their child, their prestige would double. So they heckled her and followed her around. It was the norm. Enough women did the same whenever a man tested extremely high, so no one attempted to help her.

A different, but no less obnoxious, faction believed it was the duty of every strong Caste member to have as many children as they could. A child of the Dragon of Water would no doubt test strongly, as had proven true in the past. They conveniently forgot all the times a child with presumed pedigree did not test well and so continued in their quest to force the Dragon of Water to have as many children as she could.

The Oracle did try to help the twins, but some futures were set in stone, and all she really did was prolong the pain. She sent both twins away on quest after quest, hoping they would find somewhere new to live and not return to the Monastery, like her Hatchling eventually had. But she could see the inevitable future and knew that wouldn’t happen.

And then, one day, the end came. She had been the Dragon of Water for barely five years, but it was five years too many for the poor woman. The Masters found her body at the foot of a high cliff. She had jumped far from the water and ended the constant harassment in the only way the Oracle saw possible. The Dragon of Water died horribly, but at the same time, she was finally free from the responsibility and harassment that had been part of her life from the moment she stepped from the testing chamber.

Her brother had been swimming deep in the ocean, flirting with the whales and the giant jellyfish deep below the surface. He emerged at the beach at a run. He was naked; the deep-sea salt ruined any clothes he wore, so he now swam without. The Oracle had also felt the Dragon of Water’s death and had left the Monastery with her cadre of protective Masters to find the body. The Dragon of Water’s brother arrived at the foot of the cliff just as the Oracle did. He rushed forward to touch his sister, one hand pressing gently against her exposed back. It was one of the few places that wasn’t completely disfigured by the long fall. There was a flash of blue, and the dragon vanished.

He stood and glared at the Masters who surrounded her. “This is your fault,” he snarled at the Master of Tides to her left. “You harassed her endlessly, pestering her until she broke.”

The Oracle hated her Masters in that moment, as the pain in his voice washed over them all. He spun away, heading back to the beach. On his back the image of the deep sea still floated by serenely, but tucked away in the distance she saw where her Dragon of Water slept.

He wouldn’t return to the Monastery for a long time, her new Dragon of Water, but he would return a happier man. She hoped. In the meantime, she would have to do something about the selfish Masters so a different future would be available for the next generation of Dragons. Her Dragons of Earth and Air were working hard to fix the Monastery, but they couldn’t fix everything in so short a time. The Oracle would focus on helping the Dragons that were slowly making a difference, and continue hoping for the best for her new Dragon of Water. Hope was really all she had left for him at this point.

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Meet the Author

When Mell Eight was in high school, she discovered dragons. Beautiful, wondrous creatures that took her on epic adventures both to faraway lands and on journeys of the heart. Mell wanted to create dragons of her own, so she put pen to paper. Mell Eight is now known for her own soaring dragons, as well as for other wonderful characters dancing across the pages of her books. While she mostly writes paranormal or fantasy stories, she has been seen exploring the real world once or twice.

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New Release Blitz: Criminal by Proxy by S.E. Smyth (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Title:  Criminal by Proxy

Author: S.E. Smyth

Publisher:  NineStar Press

Release Date: 10/25/2022

Heat Level: 2 – Fade to Black Sex

Pairing: Female/Female

Length: 75700

Genre: Contemporary, LGBTQIA+, Coming out, college, criminals, dark, doctors, enemies/rivals to lovers, established couple, friends to lovers, gender-bending, hurt/comfort, illness/disease, in the closet, law enforcement, lawyers, medical personnel, mental illness, over 40, prison, private detective, reunited, revenge, road trip, security guards, soulmates, tear-jerker, therapist, UST

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Description

Christine is on the hunt to find out more about her great aunt, Rose, hoping to decipher their severed relationship and the murder Rose committed, for which June is in prison. With a stroke leaving Rose incapacitated, it’s a rush against time to find the truth.

Things are doubly complicated when Christine’s girlfriend Terrie is accused of assaulting someone. Nervous about what she might do next, Christine and her friends avoid Terrie. With everything at stake, Christine must stick to the cold hard facts, reminding herself not to let her emotions get in the way.

Christine must evaluate everything happening in her life. The weight of the events buried by her aunt so many years before and the shame of the actions of the love of her life rest squarely on her. If the eyes of the law are always 20/20, how do love, emotion, and insecurities distort fact?

Excerpt

Criminal by Proxy
SE Smyth © 2022
All Rights Reserved

Dear Rose

“I loved her… That’s what I tell myself at least,” June uttered. Her exertion, her plea, resonated. “I told her that…yelled across the courtroom…in 1968, the day I went to prison, and I’ve said it a thousand times since.”

June had been a psychiatrist years ago, but Christine was the one listening now, decades later.

Christine was pretending to be a law student to get information, clarity on historical facts about the actions of her great-aunt Rose from the time she was in a mental hospital in the late 1950s. Her aunt, who was in her seventies, was not in Christine’s direct blood line but rather the child of her grandmother’s sister. She’d lived with Christine’s aunts and uncles and family from a young age, nonetheless. Christine had gathered scattered details in bits and pieces all her life. Every other family holiday or so, some new bit of information would surface. But she never asked. It was something everyone quietly avoided to begin with.

June had been Rose’s psychiatrist at one point while she was in a mental hospital. Sometime after she was released, she’d moved in with June, and they had developed a relationship. Rose had ended up shooting and killing a man, but Christine was confused about the chain of events and who was to blame. June was in prison, and Rose had been free since 1972.

Several letters followed the initial blunt hello letter to June. In those, they discussed basic things Christine got wrong and developed a loose friendship. After about four letters, Christine suggested a meeting. June recommended an interview room since she was a student, and Christine went about finding out if it was possible.

In an act of indiscretion, she set up an appointment to see the infamous June, someone she had recently found out to be Aunt Rose’s ex-lover. This interview, her time in the room with a prisoner who held a life sentence, was dedicated to asking questions to elucidate events from decades ago, that her aunt Rose never discussed.

Christine attempted to gauge if June was telling the truth. She needed to know if the legal decision was warranted. She was sure if she listened very carefully, she could figure out if June actually did love Aunt Rose and if the correct decision had been made in the courtroom in 1968. All this, Christine attempted to assess with a conversation. She would have an answer by the end of the conversation. It was her only objective.

June wasn’t the same person she had been years ago—when June had loved Aunt Rose and Aunt Rose had presumably loved her. That fact stuck out. Christine’s initial assessment was any flame June still held for Aunt Rose was one-sided.

June only half faced her, sitting sideways on the chair, the corner of which stuck out between her legs. June glanced over her shoulder. She held a waning seventy years in her limbs, but she still glowed with energy. Christine didn’t mind she threw a sneer down across her nose. Christine pried and chipped at information at first, but the conversation soon flowed more smoothly.

Christine had first heard about June from her great-aunt, who kicked up old memories and dropped them right away. Christine let her get away with her excuses—she didn’t remember. June was her aunt’s ex-lover. She mentioned she was in prison. That was everything her aunt would tell her. Christine had found out June was labeled a criminal by the media. She was a prisoner with a life sentence. Aunt Rose had fired the gun, but they’d given the slot in prison to June. Christine imagined her day, filled with bitter resentment for her free ex-lover. The lover who didn’t contact her. There had to be bad blood. Christine eyed her goal at this point—information. She needed to know what had happened. Christine was interrogating her, asking her to relive it for a law school report, what she thought about the case so many years later. Unfairly picking at issues June wasn’t ready to answer, she continued the questions.

June went on, describing everything in bits and pieces. She would pause and continue, restart with irrelevant comments, diverting the conversation. “It was different all that time ago. All the hoopla over something agreed to be truth. If someone thought you were a lesbian and if they caught you, arms were up in the air—sirens roared. It was a travesty, and something was done about it.” June continued on about the past, how people thought of her and talked about her.

She spoke about the past as if events weren’t real, as if life were a story she was reading to children, the grim side of a fairy tale. Off and on, June would shift, indicating her tongue had taken her too far. She shouldn’t have let the full story go. Her knowledge was an out-of-body reflection, too real. The trauma showed through.

Christine’s life of rumors, her life, seemed trivial. Three close friends gossiped about Christine and the woman she’d slept with last summer, Amy. Her friends told her to move on, but she wouldn’t let the friendship go. They said, “She’ll mess you up.” It was still the same shameful behavior: whispered gossip, stern talks, and scandalous goings-on. Her reality was different from June’s in that Christine didn’t have the same amount to lose. Nothing was a malicious, life-ruining assault.

“We were taking risks. Real risks. Higher stakes than today. I didn’t want to change the world or loosen people’s opinions. I wanted love. She gave me that. So, what else was I supposed to do?” June said. She grabbed at short tufts of hair at the base of her head.

“What people were doing was so important. I don’t want to say it wasn’t. We had love, and we wanted to keep it. We fought that battle every day from our apartment, from our place of work. In a way, very quietly, but we fought. We certainly didn’t change the minds of the world when the murder happened. We acknowledged how strong our love was before the murder. It was so well bonded that I still love her now, after all these years.” Her words softened and rounded as she spoke again about her love. She dipped her head as if the frown that extended cheek to cheek were pulling it down.

Wrinkles emerged in the corners of June’s eyes as Christine tapped her pencil. Christine stopped to cease any errant irritation. When Christine tried to bring June back and force her to be present, talk about the case, June’s vocal qualities changed.

The soft voice June spoke with when talking about the past and love disappeared into one of an aged woman when she spoke about what was going on in her life now. “You see. They all believe me in here now. I love her. My friends in prison. It’s okay to be gay, even though it definitely wasn’t when they locked me up.”

Christine sat stiffly as a board in the chair listening to June, catching every word. As she performed the gesture, she committed to brushing off immature and unserious actions, those not indicative of a law student. She was already in a precarious balance with June, a relaxed new friend facing a studious law student—both skeptical of masked lies, strangers in an unfamiliar room. Christine’s great-aunt Rose was dying. Who was this woman she kept speaking of?

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Meet the Author

S.E. Smyth is a versatile author putting words into the world. The stories she tells are never exactly how they happened. Elusive as she proclaims she is, you can usually find her nose buried in primary sources plotting a story. Despite persisting historical references, she wholeheartedly believes she lives in the present.

She resides in a smaller sort of town in Pennsylvania, carries heavy things for her wife, rubs cat bellies, and can often be seen taking brisk walks. The household is certain there is something odd going on. She and her wife travel when the air is right looking for antique stores, bike trails, and the perfect beach. S.E. rises unnecessarily early and usually falls asleep by 9 p.m.

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New Release Blitz ~ Embracing Love by Sara Ohlin (Excerpt & Giveaway)

Embracing Love by Sara Ohlin

Book 4 in the Rescue Me series

Word Count:  77,488
Book Length: SUPER NOVEL
Pages: 296

Genres:

CONTEMPORARY
EROTIC ROMANCE

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Book Description


When a broken woman risks her heart for the neighborhood hottie, heat rises from the ashes…

Once broken and abused, Sasha Kincaid is slowly rebuilding her life in the quiet town of Corvallis near her brother, his new wife and their group of friends. She’s content to work quietly at the bakery she secretly owns while learning to rebuild her trust in people. But when she starts to have steamy feelings for Connor Duggan, Sasha doesn’t know how to handle her emotions.

Neighborhood hottie and town favorite, general contractor Connor Duggan has only had eyes for Sasha Kincaid ever since she stepped foot in Corvallis a year ago. When she gives him an opening, he jumps at the chance to make her his, no matter how long it takes her to feel comfortable.

Connor’s warmth and patience allow Sasha to fall into a friendship, then an amazing sexual relationship with him—but believing it will be temporary and that’s all she’s worth. As they grow closer, Connor realizes he must win over her heart, not just her body, meaning he must push past his own insecurities of being rejected to battle Sasha’s fears and ghosts.

But the biggest obstacle is Sasha herself. Can she learn to trust again, and believe that she deserves a beautiful life with Connor?

Reader advisory: This book contains references to an abusive relationship, physical cruelty and violence, as well as mentions of non-nurturing parenting.

Excerpt

Connor Duggan pulled out the chair on Sasha’s right and sat beside her. His toned and tan forearm brushed against hers and Sasha’s calm night was ruined. This one evening a month was one she’d come to anticipate with joy, where she’d grown comfortable with these newish people in her life, and in two seconds, her comfort whooshed right out of the window.

Crap! It wasn’t only her peace that disappeared. His presence, all his larger-than-life muscles, invaded her space and took all the breath from her body. She grabbed onto the table to calm the dizziness.

And the way he smelled. Oh my Lord, his smell is intoxicating. That singular delicious woodsy scent called to her. Her pulse jackhammered beneath her skin and a flush heated her cheeks. She was vaguely aware of the hum around her, the others sitting and diving into dinner, laughter and chatting, but it was all a warped background, with the sound coming slow and the movements fuzzy.

The monthly dinner with her friends had gone from enjoyable and almost lovely to a chaotic scraggly mess in her head and hormones.

Sasha forced her body still. For some reason, her body had a mind of its own around Connor Duggan lately. It wanted to sway into him, link her fingers with his, ask him where he got the slew of rainbow-colored friendship bracelets, both silly and sexy on a man his size, listen to his deep voice and maybe crawl into his lap.

What the heck? Stay, she ordered her body, like she would her dog. Images of her face shoved into his strong shoulder inches from hers, breathing in his essence, seared across her mind. And when had she ever drooled over someone’s essence before?

We could do this, we could just lean in and take a tiny sniff, one tiny breath of him. Pretty please, her body begged. Yes, her fingers agreed. We could finally stroke that strong jaw of his and see how his stubble feels against our fingertips or find out if his skin is soft or rough. Or, her skin chimed in, he could touch us, stroke us with those work-roughened fingers of his. I bet he’d make us hum. Wouldn’t that feel delightful. We’ve never hummed before.

Sasha’s fork clattered on her plate, and she shoved her chair back. “I have to go.” Fumbling with her napkin and trying not to make eye contact with anyone, she rounded the table. Without tripping down the steps to Jackson and Ellie’s sunken living room, she managed to leash her dog, who’d been snuggled up in a pile with Ellie’s dogs and Connor’s dog, Kitten.

Kitten, arguably one of the cutest, rowdiest dogs on the planet. Do you think his owner is rowdy too? her body asked with a hopeful, wistful tone. Sasha shook her head. What the heck was going on in her head and…uh, other body parts? She made her way toward the front hall.

“Sasha,” Ellie said in her sweet, calm voice. “You okay?” Ellie squeezed Sasha’s hand, and Sasha didn’t pull away. That alone was heaps of improvement from where she’d started with these people, these friends. A year ago, when she’d feared any kind of touch at all.

I’m not okay, not okay at all. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” I’ve gone from fearing men and touch to wanting to be stroked by your handsome friend and I can’t tell you or anyone else. I don’t even understand it myself. She was going to faint. No, no, she could hold it together.

Secrets. She was collecting them, she knew, but there was no way in hell she could admit this truth to Ellie, standing right there in the entryway, that sitting next to Connor Duggan had her so tangled up she’d lost her balance completely, that she ached to explore him. Nope. There would be absolutely no explaining. She wouldn’t be able to find the words.

The thing is, she knew Ellie wouldn’t make her spell out anything. No one sitting at the dinner table, not Jackson, Ruby, Lachlan, Katie or Leo, Natalie or Gage, none of their children, and certainly not Connor, would demand an explanation. They all knew her past. They allowed her room and time to feel comfortable with them. And right or wrong, tonight she would take advantage of that kindness because she needed to get out of this house. Immediately.

“I’ll take you home,” Ellie said.

Sasha deflated, grateful to Ellie and annoyed with herself. Twenty-seven years old and she still didn’t know how to drive, so her friends were often forced to give her rides. If she were already in downtown, she’d walk, but Ellie and Jackson lived up in the hills, miles from downtown.

“We can take you, Sasha darling,” Ruby said.

“I’m so sorry to make any of you. I’ve ruined your dinner. I—”

Ruby grabbed her purse and Lachlan’s hand and led the way outside, shouting out their goodbyes behind them. “It’s nothing to be sorry about. We were going to leave in a few minutes anyway. Lachlan has his volunteering tonight.”

Ellie gave her hand one more gentle squeeze, then let her go. Sasha gave a jerky nod toward the rest of the table and took her unsettled nerves outside and away from the tight confines of the house where Connor’s heat and presence seemed to have permeated everything.

She didn’t speak on the ride home. Well, not out loud at least. Inside, her hormones and body parts had a gossip-fest. Why are we running away from him? I know. I thought we should have climbed on his lap. Or stroked that new beard he’s growing in. I’m dying to feel those whiskers? I think I like him better clean-shaven. For crying out loud, she was absolutely losing her mind.

She was glad when the car stopped and she could hurry out. Lachlan and Ruby waved. Ruby blew air kisses and drove off, leaving Sasha by the front door to the apartment above The French Connection Bakery where everyone thought she lived. Instead of heading upstairs, she unlocked the bakery doors, relocking them quickly behind her and disengaging the alarm.

“I ruined our night, bud,” she said to her dog. Boy, had she. Bolting out of dinner with her friends like a skittish colt. Better than stay and act like a hussy, she told herself. Ha, a hussy. That was hilarious. Funny ha ha, as Natalie’s teenagers often said, in tones dripping with sarcasm.

Braveheart padded over to his dog bed in the back of the kitchen and plopped down. He stretched out his legs and was asleep within minutes. Her good boy, so patient with her. No sense going home this early. After her debacle at dinner, she had too much energy to get out. Making bread would help. She shoved her unruly emotions and all her loony body part personalities out of her way and got to work.

There was a beauty in making bread. To begin with simple bland ingredients and turn them into a pleasure for all the senses. Even creating it engaged her fully, the sound of the mixer churning flour and water together, the slap of the dough on the bread board, kneading it with her hands, leaning her body into the work. She transformed it into a smooth ball ready to be proofed, humid scents of yeast and flour warming the air. Then, to taste it, fresh out of the oven when it was still warm and oozing steam, the perfect crisp of the crust mixed with soft insides. The entire process was a soothing meditation for Sasha. Tonight, she eased her way through loaf after loaf, settling her nerves in the routine.

The downside of baking was that she could lose track of time. Now it was past ten at night. Worse, it was raining, and she and Braveheart still had to walk the ten blocks home.

She grabbed a few recycled bags and loaded up bread and butter, a hunk of cheese, the leftover pasta salad she’d made at lunch and strawberries. Not nearly as delicious as Jackson’s grilled chicken and lemon pasta she’d left behind in the dust of her embarrassment, but not too shabby either. After all, she had made the artisan bread herself and the strawberries were fresh from the pots on the bakery’s back patio.

“Okay, pumpkin.” Sasha peered out through the doors. “I know you hate the rain, but it seems to be our destiny tonight.” Gloomy, too, without the hint of stars or moonlight. The darkness attempted to twist her newly meditative state into knots.

Walking in the rain with her large cross-body bag, her arms full of groceries and a tired but loyal dog next to her, Sasha tried to hurry. Her jacket had a hood which rested against her shoulders. Considerate though it was of the brand to attach one, Sasha never used a hood. It blocked too much of her peripheral vision. An umbrella would have hindered any quick escape she would ever potentially have to make. So even in the rain with all of society’s weather-proof advances, Sasha would be soaked by the time they made it home. It’s fine. It’s fine. It kept her alert.

She managed to squeeze herself between some people on the sidewalk and race through the puddle-filled crosswalk just before the light changed. The steady downpour forced her to adapt, honed a sharper edge to her anxiety. She gripped the leash. Her dog walked beside her, soaking too. I’m sorry, love, she silently whispered, hoping he understood. I’ll get you warmed up as soon as we—

Her head snapped up and she glanced around. Instinct had her picking up their pace. Is someone watching me? No. Stay calm. Don’t forget to breathe. Gripping the leash tighter, she dashed across the last street. She was off her game tonight. Normally she crossed two blocks back to avoid this large main intersection. You’re exhausted. It’s nothing. No ominous presence lurked nearby even if one always lurked in the hidden depths of her mind. Then why do I feel something odd? Her instinct had her looking around again.

Mostly the crowded downtown helped calm her anxiety and fears a bit. Easier to hide in a large group. But the rain, plus her irritated nerves, made the night difficult to tell if…something was wrong. And Sasha knew that all it took was one tiny thing out of the ordinary to destroy one’s world. It was imperative that Sasha spy these villains immediately.

Because she hadn’t that one time that had changed her life from quiet luxury to a violent nightmare.

Sasha shook off the ghosts of the past. With her words of encouragement playing in her head, she entered the automatic turning door of Hotel Marisol, making sure Braveheart was tucked close to her side as the doors swung round. Her mutt did not enjoy the swinging circular entrance.

Hotel owners Marisol Ruiz and her husband, Guillermo, stood behind the glossy black and gold concierge desk. She nodded at them, and they smiled back at her as she passed. Some days they spoke, but other times they asked no questions. They knew who she was. Before she’d stayed one night in their hotel, she’d researched them and approached them with her desire for privacy.

Once the elevator doors closed, Sasha allowed herself to let go of a tiny sigh. Almost home. Almost there. As soon as the elevator dinged on her floor, she gathered her sharp focus around her again, checked both directions in the hallway and headed left to her suite. Building strength, resilience and smarts were her goals and she was determined to do this on her own. As soon as she entered her room, closed and engaged both locks, she sank down to her butt and allowed her ragged breaths out. Braveheart pressed up against her side, whimpering his own relief or concern. She wrapped her arm tightly around him. “I know. It’s okay. We’re going to be okay. I’ve got you. We’re safe.”

When she was certain she could stand again without fainting, she rose, cranked up the thermostat and used the fluffy towels to dry off her dog. Once he seemed more settled, as in claiming half the bed and snoring away, Sasha peeled off her soggy clothes and climbed into the hot shower, erasing the chill and the fear of the night.

Will I ever be normal? Will I ever not be on guard? The steam knocked her walls down and let her grieve without anyone noticing. Her warm tears mixed with the water. Sasha let it all out, amazed every time that she had more tears, more regrets to drain from her body.

After an exhausting shower, she checked the locks again. Too tired to eat, she put her groceries neatly away in the kitchen, microwaved herself a cup of tea, set her alarm—repeating the steps she did every night—and climbed into bed.

She was a survivor. She’d survived her abusive marriage.

Yet I still feel trapped and afraid.

Five years of hell married to Anthony Lucciano, a liar and a cheat at best, a powerful slithery monster at worst. A magician with his personalities, changing from the smooth handsome charmer into a sadistic abusive scum the next. Five years he’d beaten her down, physically and mentally, until she was unrecognizable to herself.

Last year he’d almost killed her. There were moments she wished he had. He was the one who was dead, and yet…and yet getting over it all, dealing with it, leaving the worst behind was its own kind of torture.

It seemed like it had taken forever, almost ten months now of physical therapy to get her arm strength back. She’d been seeing a psychologist to help her mental state. Yet for some reason tonight, she’d felt thrust all the way back to the beginning of her healing journey, or maybe twisted onto a different path. It was all so confusing.

“You understand, don’t you, my boy?” She ran her hands through her dog’s fur. He stretched his back paws out at her touch. A few months ago, Braveheart had lost his marbles at some loud boom and shot out of her grasp, charging through the neighborhood as if an inferno had been nipping at his heels. Ellie, a gifted veterinarian and animal whisperer, and Sasha’s first real friend had said, “Even for animals, trauma can reappear at surprising times.”

Why? Sasha wanted to yell. Why can’t I be done with it all, the shame, the fear, the grief, the leftover scars?

Sasha didn’t know how to understand this fear of a ghost, let alone acknowledge it, or ask anyone about it. Relying on people left her vulnerable, and that was the scariest of all. Unfortunately, she hadn’t anticipated that being alone could also allow such a heavy loneliness to creep around her. It sucked. It was a feeling she was familiar with, and it hollowed her out and made her wonder if it was her curse, to always feel the pit of emptiness. It wasn’t until she was nearly asleep, a pillow clutched to her chest, that she remembered that nudge of awareness on her way home and wondered, Am I crazy or was someone following me tonight?

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About the Author

Sara Ohlin

Puget Sound based writer, Sara Ohlin is a mom, wannabe photographer, obsessive reader, ridiculous foodie, and the author of the contemporary romance novels, Handling the Rancher, Salvaging Love, Seducing the Dragonfly, Igniting Love and Flirting with Forever.

Sara loves creating imaginary worlds with tight-knit communities in her romance novels. She credits her mother, Mary, Nora Roberts and Rosamunde Pilcher for her love of romance.

If she’s not reading or writing, you will most likely find her in the kitchen creating scrumptious meals with her kids and husband, or perhaps cooking up her next love story.

She once met a person who both “didn’t read books” and wasn’t “that into food” and it nearly broke her heart.

You can follow Sara on TwitterInstagram and Pinterest. Check out her website, Goodreads, Bookbub and Facebook.

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